What's this all about, anyway?

What this website, and life, are all about.

Alexcoyne.com was the codename given to a project that was begun in 1999 by the US government to research the effects of caffeine on a subset of US citizens living with a rare blood defect that caused their thumbnails to glow purple on Saturdays at 1:30PM.  The work drew on previous research from the greatest minds of the 20th century in countries across the globe.  The initial proponents of the project could not have begun to imagine its full scope, however, and before long the Frankenstein's monster they had unleashed was entirely out of their control.  Its effects have been linked to climate change, the extinction of the Indo-European family of languages, and Fergie's solo career (Morbid Panda is also thought to have had a hand in the last of these, but reports are inconclusive).  All involved in the experiment were killed.  This website is all that remains of their work.

That was all made up.

This website is founded on the following truths:

  1. New $10 bills make me proud to be an American
  2. House was better back when he was respectable
  3. DDR is a good time
  4. There isn't a better book than Brothers Karamazov.  There just isn't.
  5. Bread is practically the perfect food.
  6. Linguistics is objectively interesting.
  7. You shouldn't say "a whole 'nother" because then other people might think they should too